Sometimes, normal becomes boring and you just have to step away from it.
Sometimes, normal is a lie. And the truth lives a step away.
‘Them: How are you?
You: I’m fine”
Sometimes, that’s it. I’m fine! Lie! White lie!
But how many people can you tell that you are not fine? How many will believe you? How many truly care about you? And lastly, how many do you care about?
Yes! You can not be a receiver all the time, you should be a giver too. Dish out care like its Christmas.
So, about me, I got tired of lying to people whom I never saw me ever telling the truth, but they kept asking, “how are you?” and I could not tell them I was gradually feeling depressed.
I couldn’t mention it for the fear of what they would have said, that I am young and don’t know what I’m saying because depression is for older people, Y-E-S! I have heard that severally, so instead, I shut them out.
I deactivated my social media accounts and kept staring at phone calls till the lines dropped because I got tired, tired of lying that I am fine even when I couldn’t get a job to support mom and my sister. I got tired of the many rejections I faced as I hunted for a decent paying job. I got tired of laughing over the phone even when tear drops decorated my face with unending artificial tribal marks.
I got tired and I ran away from it all before I lost my mind. But, I couldn’t throw in the towel because I saw rays of hope in a few people who allowed me cry and scream and yell at myself because they understand that I am not a weakling but sometimes even the strong almost crack.
Be like me, don’t lie to yourself, tell yourself the truth. Surround yourself with people who really care about you, they might not be so many but as long as you are at home with them, enjoy!
Finally, I’ll say – don’t seek validation in things that cannot, may not and will not even bring you the happiness you seek. Learn to be happy with yourself. That, I think, is the first step to overcoming worries.
Stay happy always. I love you.
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