The Amoke Akowekowura Series : Stories you can relate with

Welcome back! If you missed the previous episode help yourself to it here.
When we got back into the car it suddenly felt like a hive of bees, there was incessant buzzing and humming from everyone of us. I can’t remember what the car looked like or the model, but I remember we were six (three ladies, two men and a baby) in our car.

We talked about everything and anything until it was time to pee, oh my goodness. The guy driving the car held on to the steering wheel like it was his salvation, he gave several excuses and even talked about how I was the only one who was sure to be fast about it because I was wearing a skirt and the other ladies wore tight-fitting jean.

Believe me when I tell you, we did not ease ourselves till we got into Ilesha. It was a serious moment of relief for us and if there’s anything like taking a pee religiously, that was what we did that day, we made sure the last drop fell.

Once done, we all sighed and stretched our legs. Our convoy was incomplete, so we had to wait for the other cars to join the troupe. It was while we were waiting that I saw, for the first time in my life, a woman riding a bike with lots of crates of beer mounted on it.

We couldn’t hide our amazement as we wowed and oohed. Soon after, we moved to the family house of our friend where we were warmly received in the beautiful Ijesha dialect. We laughed and made jest of the greetings, mimicked the people who spoke the dialect and all they said was “awon ara ibadan lube” I think it meant that we came from Ibadan even though we had Lagosians among us.

We were offered seats and it wasn’t long before fifty litres of palmwine meant to be served at the event finished. We talked about the journey and shared tales of what happened in the different buses and cars we boarded. I had heard of Akara Osu before my trip but on the road to Ilesha, I saw with my eyes the fresh fine mouth watering roadside bean ball (akara) of the Osu people in Osu town.

I refused to eat the akara when my co-travelers bought it because like I said then “I don’t eat things bought on the road” (I’m laughing at myself as I’m typing this, because now, I make sure I eat akara osu and it’s accomplice, fresh bread everytime I pass through Osun). I refused dodo ikire also because it didn’t look healthy for consumption, thank God I didn’t place a bet because with the rate at which I  eat dodo ikire now, I’ll most definitely have run bankrupt.

Back to my gist, one of the guys around kept making us laugh, he was weird and acted strange. He said hello to the hens and spoke to the cat, several times he asked us to keep quiet because the ants were talking. The expression on his face all through was terribly hilarious. We finished drinking palmwine and like good yoruba girls, we joined the women to j’ata, fo ponmo, f’obo and to efo (meaning we assisted with the kitchen routine).

The guys left to sort some stuffs and also have fun without us (we found out later),  but something hilarious happened in their absence and when we shared the gist, they could only wish they witnessed it.

One of the granddaughters of the deceased was just arriving when her phone started ringing, she answered the call and exchanged pleasantries with the caller, she later said “mo wa ni Ulesha, mo lo s’oku Iya Iya mi”.  Ijesha people always pronounce words (most words) that begin with “I” as “U”, so saying Ulesha instead of Ilesha wasn’t wrong, but I think because she said Ulesha, some how, the caller heard “station” and thought she was being held in a Police Station.

The caller dropped the call and started calling people, relatives that the receiver had been arrested. People rushed to the house and started planning how to locate her and bla bla bla while she was in a room undressing. She stepped out into the backyard where cooking activities were taking place and everybody started speaking in the dialect. Later we found out that it was the sound of Ulesha that caused commotion.

We all returned to our various chores but we were tired already and as soon as the guys returned, we escaped.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed your read.

Come back next Thursday for another edition of The Amoke Akowekowura Series.

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Amoke Akowekowura.